Distaste for the Illogical

Before I start writing today, I wanted to come right out and say that the economy certainly MUST be up Crap Creek and down the drippy waterfall, because I just got turned down for employment by two different temp agencies. I suppose it’s either that or a Bachelor’s Degree isn’t enough qualification for menial work. You decide.

In my misery, I decided to watch the SNL parody-styled Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin. My first thought (after watching all of the speeches, conventions, and banter both ways) was a simple one; Both Tina Fey and Sarah Palin are equally hilarious.

Now, the buzz and speculation about this presidential race has multiplied each and every time either side does something new and radical that’s never been done before. It started with Hillary throwing her hat in the ring, and then became something else when Barack got the Democratic nomination. McCain got people on both sides to get loud over claims of “100 years in Iraq” and “We’ll drill in Alaska,” and then over his choice of an obscure female running-mate. Now, whether I want to hear about it or not, Palin has become the sort of news anomoly the Republicans had hoped she would, especially since the theme of women running for major political positions has become sort of passe.

So I saw the SNL skit, and I laughed about it. You can watch it here , if you’d like.

It made me wonder what new advancements will be made in terms of humor, seeing as this election is going to be bigger than any other election in history. Or so they say.

Every time I hear something new about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, for those who for some reason don’t know), I find myself wondering how much longer an organization can push the envelope of complete lunacy. This time, as I am sure many have heard, they are appealing to Ben & Jerry’s for a cause they think is as noble as any;

To exclusively use human breast milk to make their ice cream.

Barring the fact that they cited a recent Swiss restaurant owner for going the same road, the publicity stunt leaves me wondering just how far gone you’d have to be in order to join an organization which suggests such a ridiculous idea.

To be honest, it’s not the idea that weirds me out (although it most certainly does, to a degree). What I find the most unbelievable about this ludicrous claim is that Tracy Reiman, the Vice President of this coterie of wackos inferred that “A move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.”

My intuition tells me that if dairy cows are allegedly “suffering” because of all of the milk they’re being forced to give to us, then what makes it any more decent or “painless” for human beings to do the same thing? If you ask me, persuading a company as big as Ben & Jerry’s to make a switch like that would likely require an enormous amount of women to become needlessly pregnant in order to foot the bill for all of that required milk. I’d say that’s a good amount of suffering in and of itself, not to mention the fact that kids tend to like ice cream.

And let’s not even talk about how many cows would be out of a good working living.

Here’s the best part–Reiman insists that cow’s milk causes a whole plethora of medical problems. Here’s an excerpt straight from the letter;

“Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.”

So one guy insisted that milk from a cow was responsible for diabetes, constipation, obesity, cancer, and even DEATH? And here I was wrongly thinking that junk food and an unhealthy lifestyle are what lead to diabetes and obesity. I suppose it’s not worth it to mention that it’s also responsible for strong bones and added protection from osteoporosis. I can’t believe all of this scientific knowledge slipped right by the FDA. Looks like Louis Pasteur was a sham after all.

In 100% honest to goodness retrospect, this is the same PETA who advocated for all of these previous causes;

• The Euthanization of Knut the Polar Bear, a bear cub who was abandoned by its mother and forced to live in the loving care of German zookeepers
• The complete liberation (and possible euthanization) of all pets, zoo animals, and helper dogs
• The abolishing of animal research as a means to treat and cure ailments such as Diabetes, Hepatitis, AIDS, and over 100 other diseases and conditions
• Visitation of the Princeton Review’s “Top 10 Party Schools” to advocate the systemic drinking of beer instead of milk

I don’t mind drinking my fair share of beer, but when an organization reveals through its tax documents that it euthanized three times as many animals as it has “rescued,” I’m forced to wonder what other crackpot claims it will presume to make to further its cause. And I thought they were for the ETHICAL treatment of animals.

Human milk? Maybe it’s not actually in our breast interest. Oops, that was a spelling mistake. Seriously.

Whenever I have my ear to the wire, I can’t help but marvel at all of the funny shenanigans that come from the shores of China. When cruising around on the internet, some of the things I find make me do double-takes, and today’s scraps happen to be consistently themed about everyone’s favorite populous communist nation.

The first spoonful of ridiculous soup that I discovered (along with everyone else) had me staring blankly, asking question after question in my head. Over 53,000 Chinese children became very sick after drinking topical amounts of some very suspect milk-like product. Initially playing it all off as “Olympic Fever ” I’m sure, some realities ultimately had to be faced.

Like, for instance, thinning milk formula and then trying to replace lost proteins with melamine. If there’s a lesson in this whole debacle, it’s that cutting corners can result in at least four dead babies. I hate to assume, but with all the trends in faulty production, recalls, and generic apologies, China may just hate children. First, there’s lead in the toys. Then, there’s poison in the milk. What next, anthrax in the car seats?

Then I read the next story.

China apparently now has a huge thing for space travel. I thought it was a fabulous thing about ten years ago to hear about the International Space Station, a cooperative effort which envisioned humanity as a whole uniting in its ultimate scientific feat of discovery setting out to conquer the stars. Now, the Chinese have begun massively stepping up their space program , launching their third manned mission in five years. The rivalry for space travel has now begun to heat up, and people everywhere are….well, clueless. Nobody I asked had any idea that China had completely overhauled its priorities and started throwing people into space as fast as it was fiscally capable.

China is now hoping to conduct its first spacewalk this week, and have its own fully-functional space station by the year 2020. Prestige is the name of the game here, and with all of these sudden developments, China is quickly becoming the next big player in the league.

Soon, their program is expected to overtake ours here in the States if we’re not back at it soon. I read that they also have ginger beef and sauteed vegetables for their daily meals, and that’s pretty sweet. On the other hand, at least we don’t have green water .

This is a big turning point in international affairs. I’m excited to see what else happens.